Yuki: Multi-identity idealist - Author, Composer, Photographer, Poet…

"Allow me to stand quietly at the centre where these twisted threads meet, regardless of left or right, up or down, positive or negative—I am still the same 'me.'"

This is a segment from Yuki Zhang Shengyi's work "Twisted Threads" in this issue's interview, exploring how all things eternally converge into one outcome, yet the self remains unchanged.

Here is the text with the grammar mistakes fixed and the language polished:

From this brief sentence, we can easily perceive Yuki's passion for expressing her emotions and establishing emotional connections with the external world.

During the interview, Yuki mentioned her commitment to making sense of things.

Publishing books, holding solo piano concerts, composing songs, and engaging in photography - these are all ways the idealistic Yuki uses to express herself and connect with society.

Next, we will get to know her through her personal experiences, works, and unique perspectives on various issues!

As she put it: "I want to share this style of mine with many people."

Profile

In this issue, our featured interviewee is Zhang Shengyi (Yuki), an 11th-grade student currently attending the prestigious Hotchkiss School in Connecticut, USA. Yuki has a deep passion for music, having started learning the piano at the age of 5, performed numerous solo concerts, and begun composing songs at the age of 14. She has been accepted into the School of Foreign Service at Georgetown University. Yuki is also an accomplished writer, with her published work "Inside the Door, Outside the Door," as well as a habit of crafting poetry to express emotions from her daily life. She excels at observing the world around her, often capturing and documenting beautiful moments through the lens of a camera or a pen.

Despite being a high school student, Yuki possesses a wealth of experiences that have shaped her into a well-rounded individual. With delicate prose, she depicts her life and stories like notes on a musical score. She records her reflections on life when inspiration strikes, and during the sunset hours, beneath the hues of the evening sky and drifting clouds, a girl bathed in an orange glow emerges. Just as the evening glow does not fade before the sunset, her words are equally as beautiful.

"If there's a hint of melancholy, you turn your face to the window. As the setting sun nears its end, on the western horizon, traces of evening glow persist."

Q: How did you come up with the idea of writing a book?

A: During that summer vacation, I didn't return to my home country. My dad came alone to the United States to be with me. We rented a house near the school. That year's pandemic was the first one with true quarantine measures. Personally, I prefer to engage in creative activities and introspection in a space that's my own. The ecological environment around that house was quite pleasant, and I had a lot of thoughts at the time. Moreover, during the period leading up to college applications, there was significant external pressure. I wanted to use this method to record my thoughts from that time. As I continued writing, I realized that my thoughts and stories could be woven together into a book.

When I considered publishing this book, I didn't actually think about the potential for profit. Even to this day, I haven't focused too much on that aspect. The philosophy I had while creating this book was to see it in a finished form. Regardless of how many people would pay attention to it, I simply wanted it to be complete and exist in the world as a book.

Q: Do you set aside a specific time for writing each week or do you write based on your feelings?

A: I definitely go with the flow of inspiration. I write when I feel the emotions are right. If you were to check my voice memos right now, I have around two thousand of them. In my daily life, whenever I have a thought, I quickly record it there. Later, I go back and look at the stories and inspirations I've documented. If I still feel the same emotions as before, I continue writing. If not, I wait until the next time I feel that way. I don't set specific times to write, but during the pandemic, I had many emotions, so it felt like I was writing every week.

Q: Could you give us a detailed look at the entire process? Like, from the moment you finished writing to contacting the publishing house, etc.

A: At the beginning, I shared my idea with my family. They then recommended publishing houses and so on. Since my dad had previously published a book, "My Childhood," he recommended my book to a publishing house and encouraged me to contact them. This whole process took about half a year.

When I contacted them, we had a remote video conference to finalize the details. The first step after connecting with a publishing house was submitting the book's title, summary, and structure. The publishing house reviews the title and content to decide if the book has potential and can be released. The book is written from the perspective of a 16-year-old teenager, so the content isn't particularly unique or explosive. It includes my thoughts on certain societal issues at the time. Their review took about one to two months, and there were no issues. After that, I had to send them my draft, including illustrations and design. I reached out to a family friend who is talented in art, and we worked together on the illustrations for the entire book. In terms of the text, the publishing house had editors who collaborated with me, discussed ideas, and sometimes we even chatted about topics beyond publishing. The atmosphere was relaxed. This is my first experience publishing a book, and it's very significant to me.

Q: I really liked one of the pieces in your book, "When Prayer Doesn't Work." What are your views on prayer and faith?

A: From the perspective of quantum mechanics, there is a possibility of a supernatural deity. Many religious beliefs anthropomorphize it, and some people want to deny this concept. However, I don't think you can really deny it. I believe faith is a diverse interpretation of the same thing. As long as a belief helps you find meaning and guides you, then it exists. I personally think our relationship with a deity is like this: without it, there wouldn't be me, and without my consciousness, it wouldn't exist. In certain moments of life, there are coincidences I'm willing to believe have been orchestrated, planned, and integrated for me by the great planner of the universe. As for the sequence of events in my life, I believe it's all God's arrangement. My perspective is that believers don't know how God will respond to their actions. Your life is still long, and a period of disappointment might bring you surprises. There's a feeling like "it might be a blessing in disguise." I pray, including baptism and performing certain rituals. After praying, some things you urgently desire or wish to achieve require a moment of connection between both spirits to be manifested, to become visible.

Q: I know you're not only skilled in writing but also very talented in music. I'd like to ask, why did you decide to hold a solo concert? How did it feel the first time you performed on stage by yourself? Have you ever made mistakes during a solo concert?

A: Why did I decide to hold a solo concert? I do have experience with larger performances, but I wanted to experience the feeling of holding a solo concert. Playing the piano isn't just about reading sheet music and playing it mechanically. I infuse my own understanding into it. I want to showcase my style to many people. I started learning the piano when I was five, but there were times when academic matters caused interruptions, so I have much less experience than those master-level students. So, the first time I stood on stage alone, facing eight or nine hundred audience members, the psychological pressure was enormous. When I got on stage and the lights were on me, I was really nervous and jittery. Yes, I have made mistakes during solo concerts. Even the most skilled individuals can make mistakes while performing, not to mention someone like me. When I made a mistake, my heart suddenly skipped a beat, but my mental strength was okay, so I continued playing. My strategy for this kind of situation is to fully immerse myself in the music, enhance my physical expression, and the more I immerse myself, the more people might think, "Wow, this person's performance is quite extravagant." It feels like I'm truly performing art, so they might overlook some of my technical errors.

Q: What prompted you to start composing songs? Could you provide a specific example of where your inspiration came from?

A: The first song I wrote was a graduation song for my high school when I was 14. I believe all creativity is built upon information. Once you listen and observe a lot, and you're quite emotional, writing songs becomes a natural thing. After coming to the United States alone at 14, I gradually became more sensitive, and I started examining changes within myself. I also found that my perspectives on the world were vastly different from others, leading to clashes of ideas. I incorporated these conflicts and clashes into my songs, gradually blending two very distinct worldviews.

Q: Are the compositions you write usually themed? Is there something you aim to express?

A: Generally, the compositions I write do have themes. Before writing, I determine the theme based on my current emotions or experiences during that period. For example, if someone I cherish is about to say a permanent goodbye to me, I would set the theme to be related to life, and then start the creative process. Since I often write poetry, sometimes I incorporate elements from my poems. I might repurpose the words from the poems rather than using them verbatim.

Q: What do you think music means to you? Is the piano special to you in any way?

A: Music and the piano are both special to me. Much sheet music features classical music, and our impression of it might be somewhat rigid. However, when I sit at the piano, it gives me a lot of freedom to express my understanding of the work or the music itself. It's not as strict; there are no lyrics. Many aspects might sound chaotic or messy to the general public. At this point, as a pianist, I can use my own interpretation to express the piece. I think there's quite a bit of creative freedom in it. Sometimes, I might have conflicts with the composer's intentions in certain parts of the sheet music. If there's a major difference in interpretation, I would lean towards my own understanding. I believe music is about constantly generating conflicts and then reconciling them.

Q: Having studied in America for so long, what do you make of the new law against abortion?

A: My personal political stance in the United States is relatively neutral. As for the new abortion law, as a woman, I certainly have strong feelings about it. I believe that women should have the right to make decisions about their own bodies; it's a fundamental right. However, I think the root of this issue in the United States lies in the instability of their political parties and ruling factions, as well as varying views on women's rights. But this situation is not consistent; what might be implemented today could be revoked after a period of time. Ultimately, behind the U.S. politics, there are significant networks of interests, and many different forces are supporting various factions. Therefore, unless the political system in the United States undergoes significant change, it's unlikely this issue will be resolved at its core. However, we can work to change people's perceptions of women's rights and biases against women.

Q: I've read Sally Rooney's "Beautiful World, Where Are You," and there's an interesting concept in it—the author mentioned that "human civilization is on the brink of destruction." Similar viewpoints are present in China, like Fang Fang's question "How did the world become like this?" Considering recent events like the Tangshan incident and others, do you think we are becoming more civilised or worse off?

A: Personally, I think people are becoming more and more selfish, but I also want to say that this is part of human nature and the complexity of human civilization. Behind the positive aspects you see, there are often cruel elements as well. It's all relative. The developments we see today and the achievements we've made have indeed made life more convenient and beneficial for some people. However, there will always be a segment of the population experiencing pain that we don't see. As for the Tangshan incident, many people have been speaking out since it was exposed, it's just that the news isn't being widely reported. And it's not just Tangshan; similar incidents might have happened in other third-tier cities, but they might not be as severe in nature and thus not reported. The media tends to show us the positive side of the world to give us a hopeful outlook for the future.

I've always been quite idealistic. In my world, I've envisioned an idealized future for myself. I think exposing such incidents is a positive start. It makes us more vigilant and aware of similar events. So, overall, it's a good thing. If we want to bring about change, we should start locally and then expand the influence of these correct ideas. Everyone's actions and words can influence others. When we speak, we should consciously think before we act. Because an individual's perception of a group is often influenced by the opinions and viewpoints of those around them. If we constantly speak with a deliberate awareness, things can change.

Karl Marx once said, "Idealism is not an illusion but a truth." In the interview above, we can see the speaker, as an idealist, holding onto a vision for the future, pursuing ideals they are determined to achieve. These intersections of aspirations have become their truth, painting their unique journey in life. The speaker keeps creating wonders, continuously pushing their own boundaries, standing firm in their convictions, and embracing their passions.

Without ideals in this world, if everyone were to conform to norms and follow the crowd, seeking only tranquility, how could we envision a brilliant future? How could we approach that which is better? May we, like the speaker, use our unique perspectives to understand, express, and perceive the world. Let us blend with it to become individuals as unique as fingerprints, painting our own extraordinary stories!

Producer & Interviewer: Isabella Wang

Text & Editor: Cecilia

Formatting: Danni & Isabel

Translator: Amanda Tu